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Creating and using revising outlines

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Saved by sandra jamieson
on October 8, 2008 at 11:57:08 am
 

There are three ways to do this. The first starts with a revised introduction and uses it to structure an outline; the second uses a revised version of the conclusion as an introduction and then develops an outline from that; the third starts with a draft of the paper and uses that to make a revising outline. Either way, the result is an outline that can be used to reorganize the information in the paper and work out where more examples are needed. Below are examples of both


 

Starting with a revised introduction

Use this method when you have written a draft and then worked on the introduction to the extent that you have an idea of what you want to say. If you do not have a thesis yet, use method 2 below! If you have revised the introduction, the next step is to use it as an engine to drive the paper. Look at the revised introduction below:

 

Sample #1

Original introduction--draft #1:

I believe all universities should feel that have a strong role in the surrounding community.  Universities are places were kids come to learn and gain more knowledge about the world and themselves.  The community that surroundscollege campuses should work hand in hand with the college.  The community has a lot to offer the college which includes things like Movie theaters, Restaurants, clubs and other places of social gathering that the college students will continually use over there four years.  The college also has a lot to offer the community such as speakers, night classes and most importantly jobs.  Since colleges provide so many opportunities they should feel obligated to share some of these opportunities with the surrounding community.  

 

I believe all universities should feel that have a strong role in the surrounding community.   The community that surroundscollege campuses should work hand in hand with the college.  The community has a lot to offer the college which includes things like Movie theaters, Restaurants, clubs and other places of social gathering that the college students will continually use over there four years.  The college also has a lot to offer the community such as speakers, night classes and most importantly jobs.  Since colleges provide so many opportunities they should feel obligated to share some of these opportunities with the surrounding community.

1) Universities are places were students come to learn and gain more knowledge about the world

i. they do that from speakers, for example Thomas Friedman

ii. they do this from classes, for example anthropology when we learn about cultures and the ways different people interact

iii. they also can do this from study abroad

2) Universities are places were students come to learn and gain more knowledge about the themselves.

i. clubs and organizations

athletics

your major

study abroad (programs, volunteer)

career choices (career center, internships)

Drew diversity and how that makes

 

Revised introduction

I believe all universities should recognize that they have a strong role in the surrounding community, but the community also plays a role in the education of the students in its midst.  Students go to university to become more knowledgeable about the world and themselves, and for this to work most effectively the community that surrounds a college campuses should work hand in hand with the college.  In return, the campus can extend that knowledge to the community. On a simple level, the community has a lot to offer students, including things like movie theaters, restaurants, churches, clubs, and other places of social gathering that the college students will continually use over their four years in college. But the community can also help to educate students through internships and community programs, and it is here that the two work hand-in-hand. Employers benefit from having interns as much as the students, and community service programs are always looking for volunteers who can learn how to help others while also doing so. The college also has a lot to offer the community on an educational-level. This includes speakers and other campus events, night classes, and most importantly jobs.  Since colleges and students can benefit so richly from the surrounding community, they should feel obligated to share some of their opportunities with the surrounding community.  When this happens everybody benefits.

An outline based on this revised introduction: 

 

Starting with a conclusion revised to make an introduction 

Use this method when you have written a draft but didn't really know what you wanted to say until you got to the conclusion--this is a very common thing for writers to do. We start writing before we know what we want to say and in the process of writing the draft we work it out. The conclusion of such a draft sums up our argument and can thus be revised into a really effective introduction. The rest of the paper may be revised into the newly organized paper, but beware that some of the material you generated may not be used in the final paper because you wrote it when you did not know your argument. Look at the example below:

 

Sample #2:

The original conclusion

 

The question that one still has to answer is the ever so simply put, So what? Yes, we are students at Drew University, So what? Yes, we as students are informed of the problems that our world is faced with, So what? And just because one is at college and being educated of these issues, what does that mean? That because we are educated and young we automatically have to go out and change the world? The truth of the matter is no matter how we see it, people are going to want to change the world or not. If you don’t, then you don’t and if you do, than never fear, you are one of the millions that will then ask that one word question? How? How do I stop genocide? How do I stop starvation? How do I stop global warming? How, how , how. I strongly believe that the answer to this simple question does not start with lengthy instructions, but more importantly, two words, Become educated.  One of the key steps in solving a problem is understanding the facts, knowing the history. I believe that although every student will not want to leave college wanting to save the world, the least they can do is become well informed on the issues we are exposed to in the present. Bringing about change isn’t about having a great idea, but carrying out ones actions, knowing the steps to a positive future , spreading ones knowledge, and most importantly allowing others to join you in the hope to change the world for the better. 

 

The conclusion revised into an introduction:

Many students want to change the world, but they often arrive at college asking that one word question: How? How do I stop genocide? How do I stop starvation? How do I stop global warming? How, how, how?  I strongly believe that the answer to this simple question does not start with lengthy instructions, but more importantly with two words: become educated.  One of the key steps in solving a problem is understanding the facts and knowing the history of the problem. I believe that although not every student will leave college wanting to save the world, the least they can do is become well informed on the issues we are exposed to in the present. The next step is to act by doing something, which may include just sharing the information learned. Bringing about change isn’t about having a great idea, but about carrying out actions, knowing the steps to a positive future, spreading ones knowledge, and most importantly allowing others to join you in the hope to change the world for the better. It is the responsibility of colleges to make the necessary information available to students, and it is the responsibility of students to take advantage of this information and once they have it, to share it, and to act on it if they can. This action may range from joining a club or creating a website to share information to protesting, volunteering, or working for a larger organization.  

 

An outline based on this revised introduction: 

 

Starting with a draft of the paper

Use this method if you do not have a very well-developed introduction, or if you have a longer draft and you need to make sense of what you are saying.

First, go through the paper and make a note of the following for each paragraph:

1) the main point of the paragraph

2) the evidence/example you include to support that point

If a paragraph has more than one point, list each one separately

 

Second, review the information and ask these questions:

1) do you include sufficient evidence/examples of each point?

    - if not, what should you add? and where might you find it?

2) do you explain the relationship between the point you want to make and the evidence/example that supports it?

   - if not, how might you make that clearer? Do you need more examples or more explanation?

 

Next, look at the list of points and try to organize them in the most effective way, then ask the following questions:

1) do you make the same point in more than one paragraph?

    - if so, can you combine them?

2) do you include points that seem to support two different arguments (or be part of two different papers?)  

    - if so, do you need both or should you focus on only one of them? If you want to keep both, how can you show the connection?

3) what is the most effective organization? 

  - if the paper is chronological, do you include all the information in the right order?

  - if the paper if topic-based, do you provide information in an order that allows readers to understand?

  - in either case, do you need a first paragraph that provides background or explains terms or concepts?

4) Have you acknowledged other possible interpretations and explained why they are not appropriate?

 - if not, what are they and where might you put them?

 

Once you have the perfect outline, use the information you have decided to keep from your first draft and whatever else you need to add and revise the paper.

 

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